Alaska Sleep Education Center

Sleep Problems After Separation or Divorce

Posted by Tommy Murphy on Dec 30, 2020 9:39:04 AM

Couple standing with backs together covering ears, closed eyes, not listening to each other isolated on white background. Negative human emotions facial expressions

Whether we like it or not, our psycho-emotional state is most often the real us. Parting with a loved one who has been a life partner for a certain period can be more or less painful for different people, but it is always a kind of "system failure.” Divorce or separation is a tedious procedure that exhausts the participants emotionally and physically, as they are always associated with a set of stressful situations that are difficult to avoid.

However, even after completing all judicial procedures related to divorce, it is challenging to restore inner mental balance. One of the most common disorders is insomnia, jet lag, and various other sleep problems during this period. The emotional mechanisms of a person are a fragile web of subtle interconnections, in which it is not always possible to diagnose the root cause of the disorder unambiguously.


Everything seems worse at night than it really is

You can talk for a long time about some of the useful aspects of the situation in which a person finds him or herself after a divorce or separation - the opportunity to organize information detox, rethinking the influence of everyday life, a special kind of reboot of consciousness and the release of personal space. However, there is also a reverse side of the coin with a negative effect in this common situation.

Left alone with their experiences, a person feels stress much more acutely since there is simply nowhere to broadcast it and no one to share the pain with. And as you know, human nature is such that it is at night that all fears manifest themselves more vividly, and our inner demons manifest themselves most actively. Everything seems worse at night than it really is, but that's just what's going on in our heads!


Ghostbuster and other roles to try on

Natalie Maximets, a certified life transformation coach from Online Divorce, says that the most effective cure for sleep disturbances is inside the person and needs to be accumulated. “Are you sleeping well? This is the first question I ask my clients. In fact, sleep quality is a fairly accurate indicator of a person's psycho-emotional health.”

Melissa Tenny from Complete Case confirms it. “Ghosts from your past may not let you fall asleep, and in order to get rid of them, you need to step over a certain inner barrier associated with long-term habits and emotional attachment to a particular person. You may not be left with love, but there may be a kind of dependence on certain ritual actions associated with your ex. Freeing up personal space and letting go of old habits is one of the challenges of personal transformation!” Melissa says.

Indeed, the correct attitudes, introspection, and practices to seek inner harmony can be more effective in treating sleep disorders than some traditional medical methods. The reason is obvious: the results of your work on yourself will remain with you forever, and drug treatment may have relapses in the future. Reorganizing your personal space and gaining time management can help fight insomnia as well as sedatives.

Nevertheless, it is better to leave drug psychotherapy issues to specialist doctors in this area and start the path to self-healing from sleep problems with simple but effective methods. Below are some basic recommendations from psychologists and life coaches that can help you stabilize your emotional state and fall asleep peacefully after the divorce process.


Info detox, caffeine withdrawal, and other puzzle pieces

Court-approved dissolution of a marriage can sometimes bring new challenges instead of the expected moral relief. Often this is due to the rejection of the usual way of life, the formation of new habits, and learning to live in a new format, conditions, and circumstances for oneself. According to the law of conservation of energy, the inner emptiness needs to be filled with something. The usual rituals need to be replaced with something, and un-expended emotional resources need to be used.


Healthy sleep is cooler than Netflix!

Informational detox is one of the working methods that will be recommended to you first. For the time being, give up the excessive use of various content, which usually affects you as an emotional irritant. Social networks, news sites, television, entertainment shows - all this merges into a single stream of white noise that prevents your brain from resting. It may seem to you that the information background saves you from loneliness, but this is just an illusion.

Try to make a new rule not to flip through Facebook before bed, not to fall asleep with the TV on, and, ultimately, turn off the lights in the bedroom. Absorbing any content from your smartphone or other sources further stimulates and irritates your nervous system. Try to avoid watching your favorite TV show if it contains violent scenes or any visuals that evoke strong emotions.


More than a twist in your sobriety

Coffee and cola, gin and whiskey, chocolate and fast food are not your friends in this situation! Any stimulant, even in small doses, additionally shatters your nervous system. If you cannot eliminate caffeine, alcohol, and foods high in simple carbohydrates, at least avoid them the last three hours before bed. Sleeping while intoxicated is not a healthy sleep, even if you seem to be fast asleep, because your brain does not rest properly.


Workaholism is not substitution therapy!

Much the same can be said about that characteristic state when you collapse from fatigue. The case when you fall off your feet and fall asleep cannot be called a full-fledged healthy sleep. So avoid physical overwork. Workaholism is not a substitution for therapy at all! The regime is also very important for your psychological and emotional balance. The state of sleep deprivation can squeeze the last juice out of you, and the subsequent recovery can be a lengthy and challenging process.


Keep calm and say, “Om!”

Take the time and opportunity to prepare for bed properly. This may seem like the simplest form of any kind of spiritual practice. But it is not particularly important what exactly you do at this moment - lie in bed with your eyes closed or sit motionless on the carpet in the lotus position. The main task is the gradual physical relaxation of the entire body and the psychological attitude to streamline thoughts and filter out all the negativity accumulated over the previous day.

Divorce is heartbreaking for many. It can cause anxiety and a number of health problems, but sleep is something that you can’t afford to lose out on. The above tips should help most people get a good night’s rest, but if you are still finding it hard to sleep soundly, ask for help.

If stress is keeping you awake at night, you may need some CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy) sleep help.Alaska Sleep Clinic is the only sleep lab in the state with a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Dr. Angie Randazzo.

                       Call us today for your free sleep assessment @ 907-357-6700.

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Topics: insomnia, cbt, divorce, managing stress

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