Alaska Sleep Education Center

Why You Must Work On Sleep for a Better Relationship

As a kid you hated your parents telling you to go to bed But now as a busy adult you cant wait to take the load off and sleep So many times you hit the snooze button in your alarm hoping for a chance to catch a few more winks 
Sleep has so many emotional physical and mental benefits Thus having too little to no sleep at all will bring a lot of negative effects on your health These negative effects are often serious that sleep deprivation was even used as a torture method
There are some pretty harrowing tales of detainees having to suffer through such interrogation techniques The CIA has even come under the spotlight for using sleep deprivation The effects are extreme fatigue disorientation severe lethargy and social withdrawal 
It doesnt end there though You will notice that your relationships will suffer from a lack of sleep Indeed this latter part forms the basis of this article And we will provide plenty of scientific evidence to support whatever we share 
Sleep and Its Effect on Your Relationships
Sleep and Emotional Imbalance
If you are a parent or have lived with kids you know how they behave when they dont get nap time They become irritable and soothing them is next to impossible Well it all has to do with one part of the brain 
The amygdala is the part of the brain that regulates memory and emotions Lack of enough sleep will throw the amygdala out of sync It will play havoc with neurotransmitter production resulting in less or more than what is necessary When this happens your emotions will be all over the place
study shows that the effect is especially severe amongst men Poor sleep quality directly correlates with amygdala reactivity perceived stress and negative affect Yet restoring the optimal amygdala environment is as simple as improving your sleep quality
How easy do you think it is to live or be in a relationship with a sleep deprived partner You have to walk on eggshells because you never know how they will react to the smallest things Lack of enough sleep will make you angry and aggressive You will find it hard to adapt to situations and experience extreme irritation with very small things 
Sleep for Stress Management 
Your long hours mean you dont get a chance to enjoy more than 4 hours of sleep What you may not want to admit is the fatigue and pressure of life are proving too much to handle And the truth is you cannot fall asleep because of the thoughts swirling through your mind 
Inadequate sleep also brings irregularity with your hormones such as progesterone estrogen testosterone and cortisol Such hormonal imbalance and stress can lead to health problems such as vaginal itching and yeast infection
When experiencing stress the body releases cortisol which elevates blood sugar The yeast in your body feeds on the sugar resulting in a candida overgrowth Having to deal with these conditions will make you more irritable but it can be easily cured with products containing probiotics for the vagina
You must take relevant steps to handle your stress levels Make it a priority to get enough sleep every day The sleep benefits will become apparent almost immediately You will feel more relaxed and everyone around you will notice a mood elevation 
Sleep and Empathy
The ability to empathize is a critical component for people in healthy relationships You must be able to feel what your partner is feeling at all times When they are sad or happy you should resonate with that emotion That way you can better regulate your responses depending on the situation 
You see the ability to share someone elses feelings or emotions is thanks to extended neural networks These include the insular cortex and anterior cingulate Ok we dont need to go too deeply into a science class
But research shows a link between sleep quality and neural activation of the insular cortex That will in effect have a direct on how much empathy you can project Study participants viewed photos of people with neutral and distressed expressions Those who had better sleep had more empathy for those showing distress  
Sleep and Intimacy 
Develop a healthy bedtime routine with your partner Due to hectic lifestyles this may not always be possible But it is something that you both need to work on Going to bed together is the best way to develop intimacy 
Remember intimacy does not always mean sex Take time to catch up or sit in companionable silence That act of physical closeness will bring you two closer 
We did mention cortisol above What you should know is that this hormone suppresses estrogen and testosterone production That means your sex life will suffer if you dont sleep enough 
Here is how to work around the issue of different bedtimes Try and schedule at least three nights in the week when you go to bed together Think about it like the date nights you schedule into your weekly routine 
People may debate whether having a TV in the bedroom is a good idea There is no rule book or strict guidelines on this Decide as a couple whether to have such gadgets in the room Even if you do dont allow them to be a distraction Watching a movie together is great for unwinding and can enhance intimacy But know when to turn off the TV and sleep 
Final Thoughts
 If you want to enjoy a healthy relationship it helps to be in a good state of mind And getting enough sleep is a pretty good start 
You may not always be able to squeeze in 8 hours of sleep every day But even if you manage six hours focus on the quality That means taking steps to reduce your stress levels When you slip in between your clean sheets dont drag the days challenges into bed with you Lack of enough quality sleep will exacerbate your stress levels 
You will become angry aggressive unempathetic and a raging pot of seesawing emotions Your immune system will weaken leading to health issues and conditions like yeast infections Your sex drive and intimacy with your partner will also suffer Yet the cure is so simple get enough sleep
Many times snoring affects a relationship in a negative way by hindering both the snorer and their partner from getting good sleep at night  It is very important to analyze your feelings that accompany the ritual of sleep and openly share them with your partner
With their hectic schedules many couples often only have this time to catch up It is no wonder why its crucial to their relationship Unfortunately snoring can force one spouse into another room for the sake of sleep and this crucial together time is hard to replace in their busy lives otherwise
If your marriage is suffering because you or your spouse snores the key to reconciling is to understand that snoring is a symptom of a physical condition such as sleep apnea and it can be treated There are many non surgical in office and minimally invasive treatments available to snorers today Although we at Alaska Sleep Clinic would never make the claim that we have saved marriages we have heard back many times from patients who tell me that it wasnt until after their snoring was cured they realized how much happier they are snuggling next to their spouse again
author avatar
Jennifer Hines
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Alaska Sleep Clinic's Blog

Our weekly updated blog aims to provide you with answers and information to all of your sleeping questions.

Brent Fisher, MBA, FACHE, FACMPE
President and Chief Executive Officer

“Alaska Sleep Clinic has a history of providing the most comprehensive sleep medicine services in the state of Alaska. Its potential has only begun. I am here to take these high-quality, comprehensive services to all Alaskans.”

Experience

Brent Fisher has held leadership positions spanning a wide variety of complex and start-up organizations: manufacturing (pharmaceutical & medical device), software development, hospitals (academic and community), medical groups, consulting, hospice, military, engineered devices, engineered plastics, and private equity.

Publications and Organizations

His writings have been published in various magazines, trade journals, and medical journals, including the Physician Executive Journal, Healthcare Executive, Modern Healthcare, Group Practice Journal, New England Journal of Medicine, and Journal of Healthcare Management (Best Article Award).

He has served on the Board of Directors of professional associations, civic organizations, and businesses.

Hobbies and Activities

Brent enjoys being with his family, serving in the community, hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting.