This is a sobering statistic for the myriad individuals who regularly suffer from anxiety However if you look beyond the individuals specifically afflicted with anxiety the numbers also practically assure that everyone knows someone else living with anxiety too
If its your partner in particular whos living with anxiety youre likely well aware of the fact that it can feel helpless standing by Fortunately this doesnt have to be the case There are several ways that you can be a proactive supportive and positive presence for a loved one who is living with anxiety
Help and Support But Dont Fix
One of the first things that you must understand if youre going to properly help an anxious partner is that you should not set out to fix them This may sound obvious but if it isnt in the front of your mind as you try to aid an anxious partner its amazing how quickly you can shift into providing solutions rather than simply offering support
Thats not to say that you cant do anything productive or solution oriented However this should always be done to support and help rather than simply get your partners stress to go away
For instance rather than simply telling a partner that they should calm down when they get stressed out about a kids messy room you can look for ways to proactively clean up your kids room together This can provide a calm and encouraging atmosphere for your partner to better manage their anxiety without making them feel like its a problem that needs to be fixed
Practice Active Listening and Empathy
Active listening is a bedrock of interpersonal support If you cant actively listen to your partner youll never be able to truly meet their needs
To truly actively listen to your partner you must put your mind in a state that is focused completely on your partner as they speak Strive to genuinely understand what theyre saying comprehend how that affects you and how they feel and then provide a meaningful thought out response
In addition to active listening you should also try to practice empathy as you walk through your partners challenges together Dont minimize their statements or feelings Use terms like stressed rather than anxiety disorder when talking to them Try to see the situation from their perspective Even the simple act of trying to empathize with them will help cement the bond between you and encourage greater trust and communication
Encourage Better Self Care
Self care is essential for someone managing an anxiety disorder Exhaustion malnutrition and a lack of exercise can all undermine mental health You can help your partner to participate in basic self care by encouraging them to
Practice good sleep hygiene by trying to get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep per day
Eat a healthy well balanced diet that is tailored to their unique bodily emotional and mental needs
Get regular exercise both to stay physically healthy and as an additional source of stress relief
By helping your partner address basic self care needs like these youre supporting their bodys natural ability to remain calm and collected
Maintain Good Communication
Communication is critical when you live with someone who in turn lives with anxiety The importance of active listening was already addressed but in this case the consideration is more focused on how you interact with your partner
For instance if you leave work and get stuck in a traffic jam its up to you to proactively consider how this might make your partner feel as theyre waiting for you to get home
Rather than holding off until they call you panicked to see why you havent made it home yet take the time to reach out to them and let them know that youll be late You can even use something like Googles location sharing feature to let them know precisely where you are at all times This can allow them to put any anxious thoughts to rest without calling you every 10 minutes to see if you arrived at your location
Consider Yourself Too
Finally its important to think about your own self care as you attempt to support your loved one To ensure that your efforts actually help your partner its essential that you take some time for your physical mental emotional and spiritual maintenance too A few suggestions for ways that you can do this are
Set expectations Keep in mind that happiness looks different for different people and thats okay Your partner may not respond to your help in the way that you want but that doesnt change the fact that you can be a form of life changing support for them
Establish your own routines Morning routines bedtime routines work routines having your own rhythm to life can be an excellent stabilizing factor It provides structure and security no matter what is going on around you
Live your life Dont let your personal life go neglected as you support your partner in managing their anxiety Make sure to give yourself time to cultivate activities that youre interested in even as you help your partner overcome their struggles with stress
Tap into some self care Much like when youre working remotely and personal and professional activities begin to overlap constantly helping a partner with anxiety can sometimes override your personal needs Combat this by doing things like maintaining morning rituals and routines staying connected to friends and family exercising often eating well avoiding blue light before bed to help you sleep and so on
If you take the time to care for yourself it wont just help you feel better It will also ensure that youre in top condition to step in and help your partner when the need arises
Helping Your Partner
Coping with anxiety is always overwhelming Watching a loved one do so can feel helpless and completely out of your control However if you take a thoughtful approach there are many ways that you can support your loved one and help them maintain their mental health
This can be accomplished in several ways from actively listening and empathizing to avoiding the need to fix them maintaining good communication and helping both of you get proper self care
The important thing is that you avoid any initial fight or flight response to your partners anxiety symptoms Instead of reacting out of fear or confusion try to approach the situation constructively The opportunities to help and support will follow from there
Sleep Health End Note
There is a lot of anxiety and stress in a relationship when a sleep disorder is present Maybe neither of you is getting good sleep because one of you is snoring all night Ensure your partner that seeking a snoring solution helps both of you Snoring is a health indicator that they need to be examined to make sure that they dont have any hidden health issues
The tips above can help to make a snoring conversation easier for both of you without people getting their feelings hurt Remember to be empathetic informed patient and affectionate in your conversation about sleep apnea
For more watch Alaska Sleep Clinic on Moms Everyday discussing tips on how to talk to your partner about sleep apnea
