We Started with Сo Seeping but Quickly Moved Away
Co sleeping is a problem if you are trying to sleep train your baby
In the first months of our babys life we did co sleeping Our baby did not sleep in our bed he slept in a bed which was attached to ours This made nighttime breastfeeding easier for my wife
However our baby was waking all night long and keeping us awake We would put him down to sleep at 8 pm and he would wake up every 15 or 20 minutes after that A long stretch of sleep for him would be 1 hour and that was rare We would dread going to the bedroom with him because it meant no sleep all night long
Eventually we moved him into his bedroom That was the most important step we made in sleep training our baby Sleep training is very difficult for a baby who can walk if the baby is
not sleeping in a crib baby cot and
sleeping in the same room with mom and dad
To begin sleep training a baby the baby must have a crib and ideally the crib should not be in the same room as the parents
Cry It Out Sleep Training Did Not Work For Us
Cry It Out Is A Successful Sleep Training Method For Many Parents
Many parents are very very happy with Dr Richard Ferbers Cry It Out sleep training solution But many parents like us just do not have the strength to apply it as Ferber suggests
Richard Ferbers Cry It Out Method is proven tested and works But it is challenging
Create a ritual of putting the baby to bed sing songs read books kiss everyone etc Perform the same bedtime ritual every night
Put the baby to bed and leave the room
When the baby cries return to comfort the baby But each time wait a progressively longer period before returning So for example on the first night return after 1 minute the first time then 2 minutes the second time 3 minutes the third time etc
Each night wait longer and longer to return
Never pick the baby up
We tried the Ferber method one night and gave up We just did not have the strength to listen to our baby cry He seemed in panic and he needed us We just could not stay away Either we failed the Ferber method or the Ferber method failed us
Sleep Training Success With The Modified Ferber Method
We discovered a new approach to the Ferber Method
After months of exhaustion and no luck with the Ferber method we stumbled upon a modification to the Ferber Method
We did a bedtime ritual as recommended by the Ferber method
We put our baby to sleep left the room and NEVER RETURNED INTO THE ROOM
If our baby would cry we would comfort him FROM OUTSIDE THE ROOM
We would open the door put our heads inside and say Lay down and go to sleep or Everything Is Ok or Papa is right here
For the first nights one of us would sit in a chair just outside his door and sing to our baby We would read a magazine or work on the computer We would open the door as often as necessary to comfort him and tell our baby to lie down and go to sleep The good news is that our baby would lie down without crying and eventually go to sleep Why not Mama or Papa was there just outside the door
Some nights he would wake up and we would return to his room stick our head in the door and say everything is OK go back to sleep He always did
Everything was allowed to keep him calm except once we left his room at night we did not allow ourselves to enter his room until the next morning
Within 3 or 4 nights our baby stopped waking up during the evening and began to sleep longer and longer until he was sleeping through the night We had achieved partial success All without the stress and tears of the Ferber method Our approach was easier for our baby and more acceptable for our parental values
But the next problem was that he would wake up somewhere between 5 am and 7 am and start calling us Nothing we could do would put him back to sleep when he had decided that it was time to wake up Our next problem was how to get our baby to sleep until wake up time
Why Our Approach Was The Best Approach For Sleep Training For Us
Sleep training offer security with no incentive to awaken
Why do we think our approach to sleep training is the best way to sleep train a child
If you are entering the room and offering the bottle or hugs or caresses then this is an incentive for the baby to call you You are rewarding the baby for waking and crying with hugs kisses or drinks This is their reason for waking Your hugs kisses and bottles have created the sleeping pattern of nighttime waking
If you do not enter the babys room they have no incentive to call you They get nothing out of it and have no reason to wake up
If you are outside of the door when they call they have nothing to be afraid of Mama or Papa is there They do not know if you are always there or not But if they call you and you stick your head in or if they can hear you singing outside of their door you have offered your baby the security that they need to sleep but without an incentive to wake up
With no reason to cry and no incentive to wake up your baby will slowly become more secure about sleeping and will sleep longer and longer through the night
Baby Clock The Next Step In Sleep Training
Use A Baby Clock To Teach Your Baby When To Wake Up
The next step in sleep training our baby was to teach him when it was time to wake up Again this will work best if your baby is in a crib We bought a baby clock What is a baby clock It is a clock that is easily understandable by a baby
We live in Europe and here we have a baby clock which features a Yellow Sun during the daytime and a Blue Star at night We started using the clock before our baby was two years old and it was a failure He simply did not understand the concept But around two years of age our baby learned to understand the difference in colors As soon as he could differentiate Blue from Yellow we tried the baby clock again and it was a success Here is how he got it to work
We set the clock so that it would change from Blue Star to Yellow Sun at 6 am We told our boy to call us when he saw the yellow sun Every morning at 6 am he would shout out Yellow Sun and we would run to his bed and pick him up We gradually extended the time by 15 or 20 minutes every day If we set it too late he would not have the patience to wait and would begin to cry We would tell him to go back to sleep and wait for the yellow sun from outside his door Eventually we were able to set the sun at 7 or 8 am we have two settings and we change it depending on whether it is a schoolwork day or if it is a weekend Every morning he waits until he sees the yellow sun to call us and every time he calls us and if it is Yellow Sun we are always IMMEDIATELY there
There are some challenges with the baby clock The clock can be difficult to set but you do get used to it Also if the baby gets his hands on the clock he can easily reset it So it is best to keep the clock up and out of reach
But when the baby gets the idea of how the baby clock works it is a lifesaver for tired parents
Caution Remember that if you use the baby clock you are entering an agreement with your baby You are saying to the baby wait until the clock says it is wake up time to call us Your side of the agreement is When it is wake up time Mama or Papa will be there DO NOT make the mistake of breaking the deal If you let your baby wait for you when it is wake up time why should they respect their part of the agreement Also do not set the clock too late No baby is going to wait until 10 am to call you
When Sleep Training Fails
If your baby has sleep apnea they may need a machine to help with breathing while sleeping Sometimes infant sleep apnea will go away as your child grows and develops more Other times medication is needed to treat the underlying cause of the apnea
Your childs doctor will closely monitor your babys apnea as they grow to see if further intervention or even surgery is needed
Watching your infant struggle to sleep through the night can cause any parent to feel overwhelmed At the Alaska Sleep Clinic we understand how overwhelming and downright frightening it can be to watch your baby struggle to sleep
We are here to help you find solutions to get your baby and you sleeping peacefully For a free pediatric phone consultation click the link below
